"I'm just not feeling this one"

... is what I told Ricky before nearly every set of weights. I'm surprised he didn't drop kick me - instead he just laughed. I don't complain often, so I think I get away with it when I'm in a grouchy mood once in awhile. In fact, he about fell over laughing when I dropped the f-bomb (in reference to how the medicine is fucking me up.) Good workout tonight, but I felt more like I was going through the motions than actually doing it.

Called the doctor today. Left a message. Talked to the charge nurse. She was going to check with the doctor. Never heard back. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE MEDICAL SYSTEM IN THIS COUNTRY? I specifically said, "I don't feel comfortable driving with this medication." I specifically said, "It randomly feels like the floor is about to give way underneath me." I specially said, "My coordination isn't right and I'm losing my balance and running into walls." Hello... wouldn't you be sure to call someone back with these symptoms? (It's okay, you can laugh about me running into walls. I'm sure it's a sight to see. Thankfully no one from work has witnessed it. They've just seen me lose my balance and trip a little.)

The Detroit News did a story today about chronic pain and how patients are clogging up the ER because they go there instead of their PCP or a specialist. While I don't agree with those that continuously go to the ER, I can understand why they do it. It's a pain that doesn't go away. It's not a matter of, "taking your mind off of it," like so many people tell me to try. Right. Because I have so enjoyed the last year plus of pain - every. single. day.

Obviously, I'm in a bad mood today. I keep trying to, "look on the bright side of things" but, like the title of the entry states, "I'm just not feeling this one."

Okay, here's my little ray of sunshine for the day. I found out that I did get a raise (not everyone did)! Out of a 3% pool, I received almost 5.5%! I'm still on track for my promotion and, although there isn't room for a salary increase at that time, they are open to discussing a bonus. So, my career path is looking bright and sunny!