Tuesday, January 30, 2007
What a trip!
Flying in at night was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. It was just a sea of lights! We were staring and pointing out landmarks from the plane as if we were little kids. We had never seen anything quite like it before. Absolutely beautiful!
We met up with some of my college friends and some of JP's friends a few nights, which was fun. We went to Pure, which is suppose to be the hottest club in the country right now. Although we had VIP passes, it really only meant that we could stand in the VIP line for 2 hours instead of the other line. We tried the whole handshake/money exchange with the bouncers. Notice I said try. JP had a deal all worked out, but one guy was mad that he wasn't getting enough of the cut and wouldn't let us in. Anyway, we spent most of the time up on the roof watching the lights. We didn't see where all the celebrities were partying, but evidently it wasn't where we were. :)
On my actual birthday, it was a bit more low-key which I enjoyed. We ordered room service for breakfast and just spent the day together, not running around too much. That night, we got dressed up and ate at the Eiffel Tower Resturant in Paris. We had the best seats! We were right by the windows, overlooking the strip and looking towards the Belligio's fountains. The food was amazing, the wine was even better and there were too many desserts to choose from. I told JP not to get me a gift, since he was coming out to Vegas. He wanted to take me shopping so I could pick out whatever I wanted, but I declined. Call me crazy, but I just didn't feel right getting a gift on top of everything else.
Contrary to popular belief, we didn't get married while in Vegas. Both of our offices were sure we would come back married. I told him we should find the cheesiest wedding chapel and get our picture taken in front of it, send it back to everyone without a message. We only saw a few of the neon lights, Elvis type chapels and we were always on a shuttle so we couldn't get a picture. I must say, I was very impressed with the other chapels we did see. They were beautiful.
The work portion was a blur, as I was working insane hours on very few hours of sleep. Everything went off without a hitch and I was glad to be returning home. A full week is a long time to be away from hom, but even longer being in Vegas. We took a ton of pictures (nearly 200) so I'll have to post some later.
I'm actually working from home today since I have, yet again, another doctor's appointment. And, after a month of nothing, I started back at the gym last night. It felt so good to be there and active again. No races on the schedule yet, but I need to start training for something. It just keeps me so much more motivated. Anyway, we'll see what the doctor says today. Hopefully I'll be able to keep running.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
I've been told what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas...
Yep, I'm heading to the airport in a little bit to catch my flight to Vegas. JP and I are flying out tonight and we're meeting up with some friends over the weekend. I have to be out there next week for work, so I thought why not make it a long weekend. Neither of us have been there, so I'm looking forward to it!
I've been MIA for a while -- been in a bit of a slump. My health hasn't been very good, and it sometimes puts me in a hibernation stage. I don't like going out, I don't like seeing anyone, I basically want to be miserable by myself... I think I'm getting out of it, and hopefully the change of scenery will help jump start it.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year!
Yesterday, we started off the day with a fabulous brunch in Birmingham. There, I received a very generous gift from his dad, as all the girlfriends did. From there, as tradition for the family, the girls went shopping (which was the purpose of my gift) and they men went to do their thing. We ran around Sommerset for a few hours and I didn't find a single thing to wear for our New Years Even dinner. I hadn't really thought about what I was wearing until the mall closed and I still had nothing. Not that I don't have a million things in my closet, but it's always nice to have something new.
I managed to pull something together and we had dinner with his family, as is their tradition, at Andiamo's in the RO. It was a lovely, several course meal. Complete with a champagne toast at midnight. Although I can't drink (which has really sucked with his dad in town, because he orders some really good wine at every meal), I snitched some wine with my dinner and fully enjoyed my champagne (yum! my absolute favorite). Started to feel a little sick, but no spinning rooms like the last time I thought it would be a good idea to mix alcohol and meds...
In Haiti, today is their Independence Day. It is a big day there and everyone has a huge meal with their family. Think our Thanksgiving. So tonight is another big meal. Back to the gym... ?
Saturday, December 30, 2006
First meeting - a success
Later tonight is dinner again, which should be fun. His dad is such a nice guy and I think is confident (already) that I am taking good care of his youngest son. However, he did give me a list of fruits and vegatables, with instructions that I must incorporate more of these in JP's diet. Thank goodness, too. I've been trying for quite a while, with limited success. :)
On another note, I've pretty much decided that I'm not going to be getting a dog anytime soon. I'm dog sitting a friend's dog, Oscar, while they are in Florida. I've had Oscar here before, and never had any problems. In fact, he kept me good company shortly after my surgery. This time is another story. Let's see. First, he VOMITED ALL OVER MY ROOM LAST NIGHT. Yeah, vomited in four spots on my bedroom floor. I was rushing around trying to get ready for dinner, and had to stop to clean up dog throw up and try to comfort Oscar since he clearly wasn't feeling well. GROSS!!!!! My room pretty much has smelled like dog since he got here, but that was icing on the cake. This afternoon, since it was pretty nice outside, I opened a bunch of windows in attempt to air out our apartment. I cleaned, have had candles burning and spraying Febreze (best invention ever) at regular intervals. Not sure how excited I am to get a dog, or have children for that matter... :)
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Oh yeah. Running...
At my last doctor's visit, he told me I could definitely continue working out, but no marathon training. My body needed some time to rest and try to heal. Bullshit. I don't need to "rest" for a year and a half now. Does he want me to apologize that my "normal activies" just so happen to often including going on 10 mile+ runs? I'm sorry, but that is not my fault. If anything, to me, it seems like that should have helped prevent this all. (Yes, I know it doesn't actually make sense, but throw me a bone here.) I love working out and the feeling of being in tip, top shape. It's a sense of accomplishment and a sense of who I am as a person.
I got the okay today from the doctor to up my little white pill dosage. I'm pretty sure it's going to make me pretty groggy in the morning, but we'll see how it goes. I HATE being on meds, but if it'll bring some relief I'm okay with it. No changes so far but, as always, I'm trying to work on my patience.
So, I'm going to get back into it full force. I dread going to the gym though - with all of those who's New Year's resolution is to workout and get into shape. I think it's great that people want to be healthy, but it is so crowded for the first few weeks of the year.
Merry Christmas
Christmas morning, a mere five hours later, we woke up and headed back down to my parents. We had breakfast, opened gifts and had a huge dinner. Later that afternoon, we drove back home and had dinner with his family. By this time, both of us were completely exhausted and feel asleep at his sister's house. We felt so bad, but there was no way either of us could keep our eyes open for one more second.
We have enjoyed being able to spend so much time together this week, as both of us are off of work. And, with friends home for the holidays! And... since his gift didn't arrive on time, Christmas has been extended a little. It just came this afternoon, so he'll get it tonight when he comes over for dinner. Finally! :) He was so good about it when I broke the news to him. Actually, he ended up comforting me more than anything because I was so bummed. I did print out a picture and wrapped it up. And, since I felt so bad I ended up getting him a book, too, so he'd have a little more to open on Christmas Eve.
His dad comes into town tomorrow, so the next few days should be fun. Still really nervous about meeting him, but also looking forward to it. I'm sure some interesting tales to follow.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Worst girlfriend ever
Today is a "work from home" day. I was suppose to have all week off, but due to work load, I needed to go in. Tankfully, I was far enough along to be able to not go in today. Our office is closed next week, and hopefully I won't have too much to do from home. We hired a few new people that start at the begining of the year, and I'm anxious for some help.
It really doesn't seem like Christmas is this weekend. I usually have this week off, we don't have our tree up yet, I haven't been able to help my mom bake cookies and I haven't wrapped my gifts yet. Oh, and it's raining instead of snowing. Nonetheless, I'm looking forward to Christmas!
Well, better finish up some work and start doing all the things I've been neglecting lately.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Any ideas!?!?!
* A nice bottle of wine -- He can taste a sip of wine and tell you what flavors are in it, date and region of the vineyard.
* A CD of his favorite type of music (jazz) -- He was a professional musican and owned a radio station.
* A gift certificate to a favorite resturant -- He lives in another country.
Any ideas would be much appreciated.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Little White Pills
Well, I went back to the doctor on Monday for a follow up appointment. The general story is that, after the nerve block, I had about a 30% reduction in pain for about three hours. While it was the lowest pain level I've had since the surgery, it didn't last long and the procedure itself was horribly, horribly painful. The good news is that since there was a reduction in pain, he is pretty sure it is nerve damage that we're dealing with here. One option was to do another diagnostic nerve block, but hit two nerves on each side of my back. The other option, to go back on medication.
I wasn't crazy about another nerve block. I just couldn't justify, in my mind, going through that again (only this time, it would be double the pain) for such a small rate of return. I wasn't crazy about meds either, since last time I felt like the side effects were going to kill me. I opted for the lesser evil and am back on meds to see if it'll help. This week hasn't been great, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. The side effects haven't been as severe since I'm taking them in a different way. One thing about being on these meds is no alcohol. Not a huge deal, but it is the holidays. I got bombarded with questions at my office party last night because I didn't have a drink in my hand. I ordered water and everyone kept bugging me. I really don't want everyone to know, although it would probably be much easier, so I kept trying to avoid the situation. I was getting really pissed off though. Okay. I know it's unusual for me to not drink, but LEAVE ME ALONE! I did tell one group that I was NOT pregnant, only because they looked at each other with a funny look, looked at me and didn't say a single word. Good god. That's all I need - rumors going around that I'm pregnant.
In all seriousness though, I do hope my body adjusts to the meds in the next couple of weeks. I don't want to be out of it for Christmas and New Years. Oh no. No drinking on New Years! I just realized that. Hmmm.... would it hurt if I just didn't take a pill that day or can I still not drink because it's in my system from the other days. Hmmm... I know you don't have to drink to have fun, but come on - New Year's Eve!?!?!!? I'm going to have to come up with a plan for this one.
Started running again tonight. I haven't been to the gym for about two weeks now. Partially because of my abdomen hurting so badly, and partially because it's so easy for me to be lazy right now. Ran 4 miles on the treadmill and felt so great. I lifted some and was still feeling good, so I jumped on the eliptical for a little bit. Okay, I'll admit having, "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" on the TV during my workout helped.
Work is crazy busy. So crazy busy that I ended up turning in 5 days of vacation. Guess I have to work for that promotion I just got... :) We did end up hiring two new people (one being a friend from college), so I'm really looking forward to them starting after the first of the year.
That's really about it. JP had a boys night tonight, so I'm enjoying catching up on some of my stuff. Hopefully, early to bed tonight so I can get to the gym early tomorrow morning.
Lots of Holiday Cheer...

Lots to good stories of our first trip together, but here's a picture to show how I made a fool of myself in front of a room full of strangers. I was terrified when I learned we would be playing "games" throughout the evening. Rightfully so.

More to update on what's going on, especially with my health, but it'll have to be at a later time...
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Only 20 shopping days left
We went into Toy's R Us this weekend with JP's brother and his girlfriend. The boys were like two little kids who had just experienced Toy's R Us for the first time. They were pulling things off shelves, calling one another to come look at the G.I. Joe/Transformer/Lego set/etc. they had in their hand, putting gifts in the cart... for themselves. It was pretty funny. JP really wanted a G.I. Joe that was similar to the one he had as a little boy.
In my best "mom" voice I told him, "Okay. We can get the G.I. Joe if you are good while we're here. You have to hold my hand, no wandering away, no putting toys in the cart that aren't on our list, and you need to listen to me while we're here." He and his brother (now and architect) did end up getting some Lego sets, but otherwise they were pretty good. True to my word, I bought him a G.I. Joe.
After our shopping trip, we met up with his other brother and his girlfriend and we all had
dinner together. The girls were all in the kitchen getting dinner ready and what were the boys doing? They were all sitting on the floor, putting together the fire truck Lego set. It was so cute, and pretty funny. After dinner, the first thing they did was pull out the remainder of the set to finish it. And then proceded to play with it. After all of this, JP looked at the box and noticed it said for ages 5-8. Great. I'm dating a 5-8 year old. :)
Well, I've procrastinated enough and need to get back to studying for the GMAT. Ugh. I. Hate. Math.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
The best girlfriend ever
Me: "Aren't you SO glad you have the coolest girlfriend ever? I mean, I get excited about watching football and drinking beer all afternoon."
JP: (smiling) "Yes, I do have the best girlfriend ever. All of my friends are jealous."
Me: "Jealous? Really? Why? Because I like football?"
JP: "No, because you like all sports."
Me: (laughing) "And I'll drink beer with you."
JP: "Yep. They really are jealous."
Hahahahaha - I'm the best girlfriend ever! (AND... mouse will be too. I mean, come on, we're like twins. Except she has red hair. And bakes a mean apple pie. And can put on an entire Thanksgiving meal. And, oh yeah, has bigger boobs than me.)
Mouse and I both have the day off today and we're getting ready for Thanksgiving. We're baking pumpkin and apple pies for our family. It's my first attempt, so we'll see how this goes. I think my dad is a bit concerned that the fate of dessert is in my hands.Then, tonight we're celebrating the biggest bar night of the year. YAY! Funny stories soon to follow. Hope you all have a great holiday. Be safe tonight!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
The cutest thing ever! (and no, I don't mean me)
She doesn't have a name yet. Due to Chinese tradition, it's good luck to wait until she is 100 days old. The zoo is having a naming ceremony on December 15, and you can watch online. I am SO excited!!!! Yes, I am obsessed and a little crazy.
Truck training is officially over with and I celebrated by going to the gym. Jumped on the elipitical for an hour and did some arms. My "I'm-in-training-so-my-body-is-super-toned-and-buffed" look is, sadly, going away. Lately, I haven't been very regimented about going to the gym. Better get my butt back into gear!!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
I'm more Asian than a panda bear
This week, for work, I've been doing a training to better understand one of my client's product better. I have to tell you, medium duty trucks aren't that exciting. I'm one of two females in the room, and I'm the only one who isn't a truck dealer. No offense if any of you, or loved ones, work for a dealership, but they tend to have the stereotype of being BSers and a little arrogant. Now, I'm used to being the only female in groups and I'm used to not being a part of the good ol' boys group. Most of these guys are pretty cool, and usually they're really good to me. Today, this sterotypical BSer sat next to me as we were going from one facility to another (the bus was really big and there were numerous empty seats, but no. He had to sit right next to me.) and he starts talking about something or other. He then looks at me and says, "my wife and I don't really get along." It was almost too funny for me to get mad at such an inappropriate comment. He then proceded to tell me a story about his friend that, "found a sweet young thing," left his wife, and moved to Vegas with her. He felt this was a good thing because the girl was so sweet. Right. I wanted to say no, she is a homewrecker and a gold digger. Seriously. I've been called hon, sweetie, been hit on and talked down to because I'm a female in a very much male dominated industry, but NEVER has someone been so obviously forward. Like I said, at first it was so ridiculous that it was funny. Now, I'm pretty pissed. What an ass!
Anyway... not feeling better. My back doesn't hurt anymore and you can barely see the spots where they poked me. But, my stomach isn't getting better. Ugh. I don't even want to think about it anymore.Well, I've procrastined long enough and better start studying. I have to take the GMAT this month. They allowed me to start my first semester without it, but need to take it if I'm going to continue. Ugh - I hate math, and it hates me.
One last thing. Now since you've all seen what I look like after running, I want to show you a picture of when I'm cute. Okay. Acutally, I look like I have big boobs in this picture and want THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD to see!!!!!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Better
I'm grumpy
Went to the the gym yesterday and ran a few miles. I'm not sure if I really did hurt more, or since I'm not training I let myself slack a little. My abdomen was hurting too much (hmm.. maybe it's the shot?) so I cut it short. I was planning on at least 4 miles, but that wasn't happening. I jumped on the eliptical for a while (because that'll feel a whole lot better - it made sense in my head) and did some push ups and light ab work. I really wanted to do weights - it's been so long since I've lifted - but thought it would be best not to push it. As I'm getting extremely bored while on the elipitcal, I was itching to figure out what my next race is going to be.
Nothing new and exciting in my life, just trying to get through. I'm tired and grumpy (if you haven't picked up on that yet) so I'm thinking early to bed will do me good.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Tired, frustrated and hurting like hell
I was a little nervous, but was actually more looking forward to it than dreading it. I was going to go to sleep, they were going to do their thing, I was going to wake up and be cured. Or something like that. Actually, it was nothing like that. By, " we'll sedate you" they didn't mean, "we'll put you under." Oh no. I was fully aware of the needle being poked into my back, because I needed to be able to tell them when it hurt. Great.
I was in the pre-procedure room and the nice med student gave me my IV. Well, she tried to. It wasn't too horribly painful, but I was a little relieved when my doctor came in and showed her how to do it properly. I'm pretty patient with med students. For one, I know some people that have been/are in med school and I know that they need to learn how to do it so they can fully treat others later. You have to learn somewhere. She was a sweet girl, and I she chose to do this rotation because she felt it would help her prepare for her future in family meds. Her whole job in the procedure room was to hold my hand.
Anyway, they rolled me into the room and I had to lay on the x-ray table on my stomach and my arms stretched in front of me. They put some medication in my IV to make me relax. "You'll feel like you had a few drinks" is what they told me. Yeah. I need to stop believing everything my doctors tell me. I didn't feel the least bit like I had a drink. They started on the left side and put some numbing medicine in my back. Holy shit! It hurt like hell! Then, they started putting needles in me and that hurt like hell. I yelled out and they asked me where it hurt and what it felt like. I was trying not to be a smart ass, but I was like, "it feels like you poked me with a needle and it hurt like a needle was going through my back." I held off on the, "jackass" afterwards. :)
After a few pokes, they finally got it in where it didn't hurt. They then started on the right side. They didn't put enough numbing medicine in the first time and had to add more. Yeah, the numbing stuff is what hurts the most. It hurts because (duh) there is a needle going through your back, and then it burns like crazy. They decided to put more stuff in my IV so I could relax a bit more. That worked, because shortly afterwards I told them, "Yeah. I feel like I had a couple of drinks. I'd much rather be at the bar right now though." The nurse looked at me, smiled and said, "honey, we'd all rather be at the bar right now."
The right side hurt a lot more, but they finally finished. I don't really recall how I got from the procedure room to the recovery room, but I was pleased to see a basket of crackers and juice waiting for me.
After we (my mom took me) got back to my place, my parents, JP and I had dinner together. My dad brought me cheesecake and a bowl of tulips. Which, how can that not cheer you up? I was hurting pretty badly and my back hurt like hell, so I wasn't in the best mood. My pain level was still where it was when I went in, so that frustrated me a lot. They told me it may take up to 3 days for any relief to come, which really disappointed me. I want to feel better RIGHT NOW! So, I need to be a little more patient and hopefully this will work. Seriously, even if it does I'm a little apprehensive to go through this again. It was seriously the worst medical test/procedure I've ever gone through, and I've done a lot.
Anyway, I was pretty upset last night and was in a really pissy mood today, but trying to be optimistic. Hopefully the next couple of days will show some postive results. Thanks to all who were sending me good thoughts yesterday!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Marathon photos
This was right around the half way mark. Still having fun!
This is right before entering the tunnel to Ford Field. It brought back memories of Super Bowl. I was on the field at half time with the Rolling Stones. We ran through the tunnel after standing outside in the FRIDGED cold for the first half of the game. While that was fun, this run was much sweeter!
Mouse and I after our race. I usually look much cuter than this. Hmm... must be that running for 26.2 miles and battling the wind for 4:00 hrs. :)
(Hahahahaha - Bet this wasn't how you pictured me in your head... is it...?)
One more day
Unfortunately, I was greeted with no water when I arrived home. Occassionally, it sounded like my toliet was going to explode but otherwise it hasn't been a huge deal. I may need to head to JP's to take a shower though if the water main isn't fixed soon.
My appointment is at 2pm tomorrow, so my mom is coming here around 12:30pm. If JP finished up what he needs to do in time, he's going to come too. I told him it's not that big of a deal, but it's sweet he wants to be there. What a change from crazy tool boy.
Hopefully I'll be back to normal (minus the pain) on Friday. They encourage you to resume all normal activities (ie. go to work) to see how your body responds. I'm a little nervous, but more looking forward to it than anything. Nonetheless, I think mouse and I are going to have some "I'm going to have a medical procedure done tomorrow and they're going to put me under and I'm not 100% sure how it's going to turn out so I think I'll drink to help calm my nerves a bit" drinks. No worries - I don't always turn to alcohol to fix my problems.
Didn't make it back to the gym this week, but I'll start back strong next week. I need to pick a race out so I have something to look forward to and train for. The hard part is it's so flipping cold in Michigan during the winter. Anyway, I promised myself after Detroit I was going to focus on healing so I'm not going to stress about it.
One more day...
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Post-race week -- so much time!
Monday I had the day off, and fully enjoyed it. My massage was great and I was still in the runners high from the race. (Although I was f-ing tired -- physically and mentally!)
Tuesday was Halloween, and mouse and I had a grand time. Our townhouse is set up so the living area is all upstairs. During the day, I get an email from mouse saying we should camp down in our foyer since neither of us were able to run up and down the stairs for the trick-or-treaters. GREAT IDEA! I picked up take-out on my way home, we packed a cooler of beer, took the candy bowl down and were all set. I haven't enjoyed Halloween so much in years!
Wednesday, mouse and I went to the Piston's home opener with some friends. It was a sad sight and I kept expecting to see Big Ben tearing down the ball from the boards. I still have faith in my boys, but one word: rebound. The highlight of the night came when we found out we had access to a pole dancing instructor. A friend of one of the girls in our group teaches and we were all more than excited to take a lesson. Mouse and I have been talking about it for a long time, but never, honestly, thought we'd ever do it. We volunteered to host it (we have cathedral ceilings) and everyone agreed much drinking must take place BEFORE the actual lesson. Oh man, this is going to be fun!
Thursday, JP and I had a great date night at The Melting Pot to celebrate my promotion! and my race. It was the perfect date and we had such a nice time together. And, The Melting Pot is some good stuff! I was counting down the hours until I could stuff myself silly with cheese and chocolate fondue. That afternoon was also a big surprise, when a box came to my office for me. A friend mailed a huge ass bottle of champagne and two glasses to congratulate me for my promotion. What a great day!!
Friday, I went to see Borat. I didn't care for it. Enough said. (And, if you've seen it... I still can't get the naked fighting out of my head. GROSS!!!)
Saturday, mouse and I went to the U of M game. We had a great time tailgating with some friends. Lots of laughs and several beers later, we made it into the stadium. At the end of the 3rd quarter. However, we still managed to get hit on by an undergrad. The convo went something like this:
boy: Do you mind if I stand here
me: Sure. Now I don't have to worry about falling off the end.
boy: I wouldn't let you fall.
boy: So... are you a senior?
me: (laughing) yeah.... a few years ago...
Sweet - got hit on by a sophmore. Granted, I did sound like a undergrad, being that I was afraid I was going to fall of the end of the bench. And, the guy in front of me was pretty cool since he never got upset that I kept falling into him as I was losing my balance.
Mouse, Mo and I were all set for a night out (it's been a long time since we've all gone out), but unfortnately there was a change of plans. After the game, mouse and I went to an Ethiopian resturant. (Can you sense where this is going?) We got home, took a nap and both woke up not feeling so hot. We weren't sure either of us could make it to the store, so I called JP and asked him to bring Maalox and Gatorade. Needless to say, we didn't go out that night.
Sunday, Mouse, JP and I had a leisurely chocolate chip pancake breakfast. It was so great. The week prior, we were running around Detroit and here we were enjoying a nice cup of coffee. It was a little strange, but I think that breakfast tasted a little bit sweeter since we weren't training and could relax and enjoy it a bit more. And, let me just tell you. Mouse can make some mean chocolate chip pancakes!
So, that was my relaxing week off. Yesterday, I returned to the gym to get back into things. I ran an easy two miles and stretched a lot. Also threw in some push ups and crunches. Nothing too crazy, but I wanted to do something. Tonight I didn't feel like it, so I didn't go. Ahhh... how nice.
Thursday is my procedure, so I'm sure tomorrow's post will be about some pre-night jitters.The doctor's office called me today and said that my pain level has to be at least a 4 (on a scale of 1 to 10) for them to do it. I laughed and told her that wouldn't be a problem. It's never been as low as a 4 since this all started, and it's been especially bad over the last month. As much as I wish I wouldn't have to do it, I'm actually looking forward to it. I need some relief and I'm hoping this will work. Anyway, that's tomorrow's rant. :)
