Saturday, April 01, 2006

The Big "O"

Yep, that's right. I'm talking about orgasms today. My roommate and I went out to dinner last night to celebrate a huge milestone in her career - she's being published in an academic journal. Over the course of pizza and beer (only one beer... not sure if I'm ready for this training lifestyle again), we started talking about, what else, sex. A male friend of hers told her that if she's not having ten orgasms in one sexual encounter, then her partner isn't very good. Hmm... ten sure is a lot, so we chalked it up to him being a big BSer. After much discussion we decided we needed to conduct a survey:

Men - Is this man full of shit?
Women - Is this man full of shit?

Followed by: Women - Stay away from this man (insert picture here)

In true fashion, we called our air force friend to get his "expert opinion." His response was, "I haven't had a woman fake ten, let alone have ten." Classic.

On a completely unrelated note, my second session with my personal trainer was today. We did legs and man am I going to be sore tomorrow. Sore as in, can't walk. Started out with ten minutes on the treadmill. Went into squats, leg extensions and calf raises. From there we did stairs with a medicine ball. I was barely walking by the fifth one and almost fell down on one of them! And, right into calf raises again - and he added more weight. I just looked and him and laughed and he started laughing right back at me. He assured me that I have strong calf muscles, but I think he's seceretly trying to disable me.

Then it was time to suck air (aka cardio). Did five laps on the track - high knees, butt kicks, skipping, side shuffle (reminded me of my old basketball days) and jogging. I was absolutely ready to fall down. We finished off with some light ab work and, still my favorite, stretching. Next session is upper body, and I am so not strong. I am NOT looking forward to it, but I know I want those awesome arms that will come.

Uggg... we agreed that this part is the worst. He just wants to get past this part so we can start the actual training aspect of it. The cardio is killing me and as I'm "jogging" around the eleventh of a mile track the thought of running any distance whatsoever completely and utterly baffled me. I really cannot comprehend it right now, which makes me sad. It's like non-runners saying, "you ran 20-miles, I couldn't even run 1-mile." As runners, we know that they could in fact run one mile, it's just something that they don't understand. Starting again is going to be a painful process, both physically and mentally. I need to be patient. I need to understand that this takes time. I need to stop thinking that I what I went through wasn't that big of a deal. I always think I shouldn't complain because other people go through a lot more. It is something that I'll recover from, it wasn't life-threatening, people have surgery all the time. But, it was a major surgery and I still haven't recovered yet. I can't dwell on it, but I need to accept that it happened and that my life changed bacause of it.

To end on a humorous note, I just read an article about how a recent poll shows American's are swearing more. According to the poll, about 54% of men swear at least a few times a week compared to 39% of women. Also according to the poll, when it comes to the f-word, 32% of men admitted to using it a few times a week compared to 23% of women. Well, we know I fall into that 23%. Sunshine's motto over the past ten months: "What the fuck!?!" followed by "Fuck it!"


mouse said...

best. conversation. ever.

airforcefriend: what he was trying to say was, "mouse, I will give you 10 orgasms if you will just have sleep with me. Please sleep with me."

sunshine: but mouse isn't going to sleep with him. EEEEEEVEEEEEEER.

mouse: yes, we all know that.

brent d. said...

I'm calling "bullshit". There's no way. Nobody has that much time. =)

Great job on starting back... It sucks now but it'll get easier. I've been telling myself that for over a year... it should be getting easier any day now...